Sweet Redemption
God’s light shining brightly upon me (figuratively & literally). He goes before, behind & beside me (and you!). He’s so good! Sweet redemption!
Thank you Jesus, thank you, Lord! @Hayden Butte Tempe, AZ
I will never forget when my dear friend and mentor, Diane, invited me to accompany her to the Restore 2025 Conference in Phoenix, AZ, to represent and share with attendees the healing ministry of Restoration: Beauty From Ashes. I’ve had the privilege and honor of participating in this ministry since its inception 9 years ago. If you're reading this on the ministry's website, you know what it's about. However, if you're not, let me briefly explain. Restoration: Beauty from Ashes is an 11-week Bible study and support group for women who have been impacted by sexual abuse, whether as an adult or a child.
Restoration has been a huge part of my healing journey from childhood sexual abuse. Even though I went to counseling as a child and young adult, it continued to impact my life in negative ways. Part of the impact included substance abuse and involvement in unhealthy, toxic, and even abusive relationships. Through being both a participant and a small group leader of dozens of Restoration sessions, God has taken the ashes from the trauma I experienced and turned them into beauty. Today, I have 11 and a half years of sobriety, and on June 26, I will have been married for 14 years to my amazing husband! One of the most impactful things I get to partake in is walking alongside other women who have been impacted by sexual abuse and sharing my strength, hope, and experience with them as they embark on their healing journey.
Sadly, my biological father was a victim of childhood sexual abuse too. Unlike me, he never received help or healing from this trauma. He never spoke about it to anyone. He, too, turned to drugs to escape his pain. He lived most, if not all, of his life in shame. This continued the cycle of negative choices, which led to shame, led to more negative choices, and so on and so forth.
In my childhood from around 10 years old to almost 17 or 18, I spent my summers in Arizona where my dad, grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousin lived. I have many wonderful memories from these summers, along with one Christmas. However, I also have some not-so-wonderful memories. While my dad never harmed me physically in any way, I was put in some unsafe situations and environments as a result of his lifestyle. It wasn't until I was in my early twenties that I became angry with him for these things. This was about the same time our relationship ended.
In the years since, not only did God use the Restoration: Beauty from Ashes program, but He also brought healing and freedom through a faith-based 12-step program called Celebrate Recovery. Through both these ministries, my anger towards my dad was replaced with deep love, forgiveness, immense compassion, and a desire for him to find true freedom through Jesus Christ, just as I had.
Unfortunately, this did not happen. I found out in January 2021 that my dad had passed away in May 2020. There is a testimony in the days following the learning of his passing. It's a lot, but I will share that God, in a short time, gave me many answers to multiple questions that I had struggled with for years. God gave me perfect peace, which helped comfort me in my grief. Based on some of these revelations, I believe I will see my dad in heaven one day. I cannot wait for that reunion!
Fast forward to Diane inviting me to accompany her to the Restore Conference in Phoenix, AZ, Without hesitation, the answer was yes. It was evident that God was with me the entire trip, as He brought healing, restoration, and redemption. Surprisingly, the hotel we stayed at in Tempe was within walking distance of one of my dad's apartments. It's actually where he lived in 1989 when I spent my first summer with him in AZ, and I was 10 years old - that was 36 years ago.
My sweet friend Carol said it best: “Seeing through the lens of redemption gives such perspective! Knowing what that place once represented and how much healing has happened since! I hope the time in AZ is one of deep restoration for you and for the countless other lives you and Diane will touch.”
And indeed, it was! We met so many wonderful women at the Restore Conference. I connected with many of them while sharing my strength, hope, and experience, specifically through the Restoration: Beauty from Ashes study. Several women left with materials to start their healing journey. Ultimately, the healing comes from the Healer Himself, Jesus Christ. This is why Restoration has been such an impactful program for me. Instead of focusing on the awful details of the abuse, we focus on the impact the abuse has had on our lives. We learn how to move forward in hope and healing to live our lives as God intends, using our voice and strength, while engaging in healthy relationships.
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God’s timing is perfect. Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, Lord!
To my dad, Jeff: “I know I WILL see you one day in Heaven. Your innocence has been restored, and it was the moment Jesus welcomed you HOME with open arms on 5/15/20.”
For survivors of sexual abuse reading this: “I beg you not to live unhealed like my dad did. God tells us in John 16:33 that we will have trouble and affliction in this world, BUT take heart because He has overcome the world.”
While we will not be fully restored until we meet Jesus, face to face, we can live a life of freedom and healing (and even joy) in Him until that day. Friend, I hope by sharing my story, God will give you the courage to take your first step and start (or continue) your healing journey. Just as God brought sweet redemption to my story, He can do the same for you.
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For women who have experienced sexual abuse and who appear to be “doing life” while knowing they have many deep wounds, the Restoration: Beauty From Ashes program might be the help they need. It is not a replacement for professional licensed trauma therapy nor is it recommended for those who have experienced sexual abuse within the past year.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual abuse, I encourage you to check out the restorationbfa.org website. Perhaps, you may feel led to speak with your pastor or women’s ministry leader about offering a Restoration group at your church. If you are met with resistance or don’t have a church home, I encourage you to start a group on your own. All the resources that you need: books, videos, and a leader’s guide to help you get started are available on the website. If sexual abuse is your experience, please don’t suffer in silence; and if God breaks your heart for hurting people, be the one who speaks up and offers help and resources.
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