Are You Part of the Solution OR the Problem
ARE YOU PART OF THE SOLUTION OR THE PROBLEM? (Part 1)
I had the incredible privilege of attending the Restore 2025 Conference, recently held in the Phoenix area. Attendees gathered in unity, with a shared goal of restoring faith in God and the church. Among them were survivors of both spiritual and sexual abuse, as well as individuals created by God to support and heal those in pain. The atmosphere was truly remarkable, as men and women came together, all seeking to live as dedicated and humble followers of God—His children, desiring to be part of the solution, not the problem.
Two sessions, in particular, will stay with me for the rest of my life. The first session featured two beautiful, well-spoken, and godly women who courageously came forward to share their stories of sexual molestation and spiritual abuse at the hands of a very prominent national religious figure. To date, 17 women have bravely stepped forward to report similar abuses by this man, and it is likely that there are many more whose voices have yet to be heard.
So, what made this session so incredible? It wasn’t hearing the painful, manipulative tactics this man used to exploit and harm young, innocent individuals—it was the strength of the people who surrounded these women. People who believed them, who gave up everything to stand with them in the face of this evil. Sadly, as is often the case, there were other religious leaders who chose to stand with the perpetrator, seeking to protect him while shifting blame and shame onto the victims. But these women were believed because there were people willing to be part of the solution, not the problem.
I will include a link to this session below, so you can listen to this powerful, holy moment for yourself.
Panel Discussion at the Restore 2025 Conference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8PfD40fflw
I will tie this conference session together with the earthly life of Jesus as recorded in the Gospel of Luke. Let me begin by saying that the book of Luke is my favorite in the Bible. Why? Perhaps it’s because of Luke’s exceptional storytelling ability. As a doctor, Luke was the most educated of the four Gospel writers. While he recorded the miracles, teachings, and prayers of Jesus like the other three Gospel writers, he also placed women in prominent positions throughout his account, not hesitating to show how Jesus honored them, healed them, and refused to dismiss them like so many of His male religious counterparts.
And lest we dismiss Luke as an outsider of the faith due to his medical profession, we know that he was a close companion of the Apostle Paul. He traveled with him and also wrote the book of Acts. According to the Life Application Bible, "Acts is a historical record of the early church. Acts is also a theological book, with lessons and living examples of the work of the Holy Spirit, church relationships and organization, the implications of grace, and the law of love. And Acts is an apologetic work, building a strong case for the validity of Christ’s claims and promises." 1
Luke 13:10-17 shares the story of the woman who had been crippled by an evil spirit to the extent that she was bent in half or doubled over for 18 years! I can’t even imagine her pain, shame, limitations, and feelings of being outcast and unlovable. But Jesus saw her need. He touched her, healed her and she praised and thanked God. One would think this astonishing healing was reason to celebrate, but to my horror, the synagogue leader chastised Jesus for healing on the Sabbath day. Jesus called this religious leader a hypocrite, pointing out that this man took care of his ox and donkey on the Sabbath and yet, he had no compassion on this woman, who having been created in the image of God, had been harmed and handicapped for 18 years.
I know that God grieves when religious leaders dismiss and shame victims who share their stories of abuse. Many leaders fail to acknowledge these crimes, often responding with words like, “YOU must be mistaken, he couldn’t have possibly done that,” “he already came to me to tell me it was consensual,” or “you should sit down over coffee and talk about it to figure out what REALLY happened”—as if anyone should be forced to face their perpetrator again (unless in court), only to be re-traumatized. This gives the abuser a chance to twist the narrative, making the victim question her own experience, which only deepens the shame and silence.
I’ve sat and cried with women who have shared these painful responses from so-called pastors or shepherds, only to have their pain dismissed and integrity questioned. These so-called pastors are no different from the synagogue leader who took care of his animals yet piled on shame and spiritual abuse to a woman whom Jesus recognized as hurting. Their approach stands in stark contrast to that of Jesus, our Good Shepherd.
While this particular conference session was long and difficult to listen to, as the women shared their painful stories of sexual abuse by a man who claimed to be a pastor and shepherd, the atmosphere quickly changed when the most beautiful presence of the Lord filled the room. This powerful and healing moment came when these women shared that they had friends in their communities who were willing to weep with them and go to war on their behalf. These friends stood up against the powerful religious leaders who, in choosing not to believe the victims, sought to protect the reputation of sinful, fallen men instead. These friends were the true Shepherds, acting as care takers of God’s children.
The host of this conference, Julie Roys, paused the conversation to recognize that many women in the room had not been believed, had been shamed, and had been cast aside—treated as less than an animal, much like the woman in Luke 13. These women did not have friends who stood with them, ready to fight for them. Julie asked those who had been disbelieved, who had not been given the benefit of the doubt, to allow the conference attendees to believe them, to weep with them, to pray with them, and to show them the love of Jesus.
*The YouTube video paused and edited out the next few minutes, a deeply holy and private moment, where people wept before God, confessing how so many religious leaders have failed God’s people, His sheep. When the video resumes, you can still hear people crying. I observed many leaving the auditorium, needing to step outside for fresh air and the warmth of the sun, as their bodies continued to release shame and trauma through their tears, while some collapsed to the ground. Others soon followed to offer continued comfort. These were the true shepherds of the sheep. It was an indescribable moment that I will never forget. More next week…
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For women who have experienced sexual abuse and who appear to be “doing life” while knowing they have many deep wounds, the Restoration: Beauty From Ashes program might be the help they need. It is not a replacement for professional licensed trauma therapy nor is it recommended for those who have experienced sexual abuse within the past year.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual abuse, I encourage you to check out the restorationbfa.org website. Perhaps, you may feel led to speak with your pastor or women’s ministry leader about offering a Restoration group at your church. If you are met with resistance or don’t have a church home, I encourage you to start a group on your own. All the resources that you need: books, videos, and a leader’s guide to help you get started are available on the website. If sexual abuse is your experience, please don’t suffer in silence; and if God breaks your heart for hurting people, be the one who speaks up and offers help and resources.
REFERENCE:
Life Application Bible, New Living Translation, 2019, Wheaton, IL: Tyndale
