I had the incredible privilege of attending the Restore 2025 Conference, recently held in the Phoenix area. Attendees gathered in unity, with a shared goal of restoring faith in God and the church. Among them were survivors of both spiritual and sexual abuse, as well as individuals created by God to support and heal those in pain. The atmosphere was truly remarkable, as men and women came together, all seeking to live as dedicated and humble followers of God—His children, desiring to be part of the solution, not the problem.

Survivors of sexual abuse often encounter re-traumatization by the hurtful words spoken by family and friends in response to the abuse. Most survivors will endure seasons of hurt, extreme loneliness, or isolation when people distance themselves from the victim. Perhaps this is unintentional when loved ones do not know what to say or how to respond to the traumatic event(s) or to the victim’s needs. Appallingly, some victims will be outcast from their church, employment, or community by reporting the criminal actions of the abuser who was once a loved and admired friend and/or leader to many. Feeling rejected by their community and friends often leaves survivors feeling vulnerable, deeply wounded, and helpless.

While it might be easy for bystanders to declare a survivor of sexual abuse as not guilty, many survivors struggle with feelings of guilt and eventual shame, as they falsely find fault with themselves for the horrific crime that was done to them.

Guilt occurs when someone has actually committed a crime or has done harm, resulting in an unsettling feeling and/or with a lawful sentencing. Sometimes, survivors will  harbor false guilt for what someone else has done to them; even more so, when a perpetrator or family member shifts blame to the victim for the crime committed against them. Survivors might believe that they in fact hold some responsibility and guilt in the perversion done to them, often keeping them stuck in this emotional turmoil, limiting their ability to live an extraordinary life.

Attention Shoppers: Always check the return policy when making a purchase. Read the fine print at the checkout register or on your receipt to determine if you can exchange an item that is not perfectly suited for you. This is a good reminder for all of us. Maybe you have purchased something, only to bring it home, realizing it really wasn’t a good fit for you. Maybe you thought about exchanging for something more suitable, only to procrastinate, make excuses, or miss the window of return? Perhaps you were just too busy doing more important things than to take time to exchange it. Maybe you told yourself, “it’s not that bad,” only later to regret keeping it. If you have experienced sexual abuse, what is keeping you from exchanging your sorrow, your hurt, your shame for something better?

Are you or a woman you care for hurting with having so much taken away as a result of sexual abuse? God promises to take care of you. He might lead you into the desert and perhaps He already has, but He will speak tenderly to you there and will restore you with HOPE and HEALING. So many women who have experienced this hope and healing through a Restoration group have shared with me how God spoke to them so tenderly and so specifically to their needs. Instead of shouting, “GIVE IT BACK,” ask God to restore you!

Does this restoration process align with God’s restorative design of bringing beauty from ashes?