One of the Best Things I’ve Done

By: Julie

One of the hardest things I’ve done in my life was to reach out for help.

One of the best things I’ve done in my life was to reach out for help.

For years I hid my pain from others.

Shame silenced me.

I tried to distract myself and numb the pain through busyness, chasing perfectionism, people-pleasing, and self-injury.

I hid my pain from others, but I couldn’t hide my pain from God.

Despite my anger, questions, and doubts, He continued to love me.

He listened.

He comforted me.

After almost 20 years of silence, He gave me the courage to finally speak these words:

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

I still remember how nervous I was driving to my first support group for survivors of sexual abuse.

I still remember sitting in my car in the parking lot and being overcome with fear.

I still remember how hard it was to walk through the front doors for that first meeting.

However, I also remember that at the end of that meeting, the shame didn’t feel as overwhelming. I felt a little lighter. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel alone in my pain.

A glimmer of hope started to pierce through the darkness.

For several months, I kept going back to this support group. God started to mend the broken pieces of my heart. This was the first step in my healing journey, and years later, I’m still on that journey.

After that group, God helped me walk through the doors of a counselor’s office, and He also led me to another group - Restoration: Beauty From Ashes. Restoration is a 11- week Bible study and support group for women who have experienced sexual abuse (at any age). Instead of focusing on the details of the abuse, we focus on the impact that the abuse has on our lives.

I’ve learned that even though our stories are different, survivors of sexual abuse often struggle with similar issues: shame, guilt, depression, anxiety, fear, anger, bitterness, low self-esteem, and difficulty trusting others / maintaining relationships.

God has used the Restoration: Beauty From Ashes group to reveal truth to me about the abuse I experienced and truth about my identity.

In this safe, confidential, supportive, and loving community:

God took away my guilt, and He reminded me that the abuse was not my fault.

He took away my feelings of worthlessness, and He reminded me that I’m loved.

He took away my doubts, and He reminded me that I can always trust Him.

He took away my anger, and He gave me peace.

He took away the shame that used to silence me, and He gave me back my voice.

Now, I have the privilege of being a leader in the Restoration ministry.

God brought healing, hope, and redemption to my story.

He can do the same for you.

All you have to do is reach out for help.

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* If you are a woman and sexual abuse (at any age) is part of your story, know that the Restoration: Beauty From Ashes ministry is here to support you. Check out the Resource Center to learn about the Restoration workbook and how to access the teaching videos.

*Did you know that you can start a Restoration: Beauty From Ashes group in your community? Check out the FAQs page for more information.