It’s Never Too Late to Exchange For Something Better
Attention Shoppers: Always check the return policy when making a purchase. Read the fine print at the checkout register or on your receipt to determine if you can exchange an item that is not perfectly suited for you. This is a good reminder for all of us. Maybe you have purchased something, only to bring it home, realizing it really wasn’t a good fit for you. Maybe you thought about exchanging for something more suitable, only to procrastinate, make excuses, or miss the window of return? Perhaps you were just too busy doing more important things than to take time to exchange it. Maybe you told yourself, “it’s not that bad,” only later to regret keeping it.
Many women have experienced a horrific crime done against them as a victim of sexual abuse. For a plethora of reasons, many women will never start the process of exchanging the consequences of abuse for something better. Sexual abuse leaves deep wounds and scars that most likely will never heal without an exchange.
The Bible speaks of God’s people being held in bondage in Egypt for nearly 400 years! God delivered them by guiding them through the desert and to the Promised Land. Further in the pages of the Old Testament, the book of Jeremiah describes a time when God’s people were captured and carried off to Babylon. God once again rescued His people, vowing “to break the yoke from their necks and snap their chains.” (Jeremiah 30:8, NLT)
God promised hope and joy when He declared, “For I will bring them from the north and from the distant corners of the earth. I will not forget the blind and lame, the expectant mothers and women about to give birth. A great company will return! Tears of JOY will stream down their faces, and I will lead them home with great care. They will walk beside quiet streams and not stumble.” (Jeremiah 31:8-9, NLT)
What was the result of this restoration? “For the Lord has redeemed Israel from those TOO STRONG for them. They will come home and sing songs of joy…and all their sorrows will be gone. The young women will dance for joy, and the men—old and young—will join in the celebration. I will turn their MOURNING into JOY. I will COMFORT them and exchange their SORROW FOR REJOICING”. (Jeremiah 3:11-13, NLT)
If you have experienced sexual abuse, what is keeping you from exchanging your sorrow, your hurt, your shame for something better? Let me share 4 typical reasons that I most often hear from women who do not exchange their sorrow for joy:
1. Just like the outfit you purchased but never exchanged because “it isn’t that bad,” have you minimized the pain that has resulted from sexual abuse? Maybe other people have tried to minimize your pain insisting that because you held that secret for so long, “it must not have been that bad.” Maybe in an effort to protect a family member or friend who was the abuser, others have minimized the crime done against you.
2. Perhaps you have carried this awful secret for so long that you believe you’ll just have to live with it, believing you have missed “the window of opportunity to exchange it for something far better.”
3. Could it be that you grew up in a strict religious background that promoted a purity culture that put women as gatekeepers to men’s sexual advances, lusts and “needs”? You might somehow believe that you were responsible for a man’s heinous crime done against you, so you don’t deserve an exchange of beauty for the ashes? Perhaps you have always felt second to men in religious settings and that somehow God does not care or see your pain.
4. Maybe you desire an exchange, but you have determined to “make it work” on your own? You consider yourself a strong woman with many talents and can figure out the healing you need on your own. Perhaps, you’ve decided to bury or cover up the pain as best you can, just making it through life, by always covering up the deep wounds you’ve experienced.
God certainly sees you, and values you. He honored women specifically in Jeremiah 31:8-9 by wanting to protect and heal them. God’s window of exchange NEVER CLOSES, He wants to exchange your sorrow for JOY! No matter how long it has been since you experienced such an awful pain and crime done to you, please seek help! Seek a professional licensed trauma therapist. If you have done that and want more connection and to experience God’s healing in a guided process, please consider joining a Restoration: Beauty From Ashes group.
---------------------------------
For women who have experienced sexual abuse and who appear to be “doing life” while knowing they have many deep wounds, the Restoration: Beauty From Ashes program might be the help they need. It is not a replacement for professional licensed trauma therapy nor is it recommended for those who have experienced sexual abuse within the past year.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual abuse, I encourage you to check out the restorationbfa.org website. Perhaps, you may feel led to speak with your pastor or women’s ministry leader about offering a Restoration group at your church. If you are met with resistance or don’t have a church home, I encourage you to start a group on your own. All the resources that you need: books, videos, and a leader’s guide to help you get started are available on the website. If sexual abuse is your experience, please don’t suffer in silence; and if God breaks your heart for hurting people, be the one who speaks up and offers help and resources.